I want my own "Choose your own adventure book"

Anybody remember those?
As we're nearing the start of "school" for the girls, I've had a lot of different thoughts running around. I'm not sure if anything will happen based on said musings but here we go.

Not that my photo blog will be a huge hit, but for fun I thought I'd attempt to put up an upload page with a copyright box (versus people emailing me photos) Okay so after a few minutes of digging into the HTML code, I said "wow, this is hard. Eh hubby, have one of your HTML friends knock this out."

What? Brain cells - hello? You guys used to be capable of insanely long calc problems. Used to read Latin like it was your first language. What the hell happened? Have I not really "used" my brain in so long, I just give up a new challenge. That's not me. Well, that's not the old me, and that's what's bugging me.

I used to have no problem saying or thinking I was smart. Straight A's were the norm. I honestly can say I never got a C. (Just so we're straight let me add -Do I think less of people who have? Not a chance) I was just the determined type, wanting to go to a good college and major in either geology or meteorology. That was THE plan. I wanted to "play with hurricanes." (crazy, yes, but I love the science behind severe weather) Then, as it always has with me, money came into play. One school offered me quite a bit, and even an internship in the geological field. But I'd still have to pay a good $10,000 a year. Yikes. To an 18 year old, that's not pocket change.
So when an in-state school offered the full ride with money for books package, in the end, I chose that. Got a degree in an area of study that I truly liked, but besides academia, no job market. As most IRL people know, I work in the family business.

The worst/best decision I've made. I met hubby via a friend from college - If I were to go to the first school and we don't have hubby or our daughters. Hubby is a great guy, we have it pretty good - a house, jobs, family. But what would have been, I'll never know. And as the type who likes to cover all the bases, that drives me nuts sometimes. Hence my choose your own adventure book reference - I'm not saying I want things different, but I really would like to know "what if." Just a peek. I don't feel I accomplished everything I could have in the professional world for sure, and the brain cells have either gone away or gave up on ever being challenged.

Okay, so then what's wrong with just doing what I do now, being a mom, etc? Why won't the little voice that keeps going "don't you want that degree" shut up? And why now? Maybe because I always thought I'd change fields or go back to get another degree but with their school, saving for retirement, that won't happen. Somehow becoming a working parent, I lost a small part of who I once was?

Girls, when you read this - money isn't everything. It sure is a lot, but it's not everything. I wouldn't trade you guys (or your dad) for anything. I'm just wondering if I can revamp myself just a bit. I guess this is also a realization I'm getting older.